


Stay

by celestgw



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-24 11:23:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6152110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celestgw/pseuds/celestgw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is human and living in the bunker post-Lucifer. Things are tense, until Dean finds a way to fix it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay

“DINNER!” Dean yelled into the bunker, and a few minutes later Sam bounded around the corner of the kitchen. 

“Hey! This looks awesome, thanks for cooking all the time lately.” 

Dean shrugged. “It's no big deal.” It wasn't. It also wasn't expressly for Sam's benefit, but Sam probably already knew that because he was an annoying idiot who always knew way too much about what was going on inside Dean's head. 

Cas shuffled into the kitchen a moment later. Dean turned his back and started messing around with the condiments on the counter. Looking Cas in the eye these days wasn't as easy as it used to be. 

“Burgers again?”

At that, Dean whipped his head around. “You like burgers.”

Cas sighed dramatically. “Yes, Dean, that doesn't mean I only want burgers for the rest of my life.”

Cas had a rest of his life now, which they didn't talk about. They also didn't talk about the way Dean had yelled at him and called him an idiot for saying yes to Lucifer after they got him back. They didn't talk about whether Cas was sticking around ( _probably not_ , Dean thought bitterly). They definitely didn't talk about this....whatever the fuck it was hanging in the air ever since everything happened. 

Despite his whining (and fine, Dean _had_ made burgers perhaps a disproportionate number of times since Cas had been back, but he thought he was being _nice_ , dammit), Cas grabbed a burger and dropped down huffily in his seat to eat it. They all ate silently for what felt like decades, until Sam awkwardly cleared his throat, thank god. 

“So, uh, I'm going out tonight.”

Dean turned away from his covert study of Cas to look at him in surprise. “You're going out tonight?”

Sam huffed. “Don't sound so incredulous.”

“Sorry, it's just....we don't have any friends.” 

Sam cleared his throat again and shifted in his seat. “I'm. It's not a big deal, ok? I'm just meeting up with Eileen for awhile.”

“Sammy, that's awesome!”

“It's NOT a big deal, okay, she just happened to be in the area, so we thought we'd meet up, and....” 

“Who's Eileen?” Cas cut in.

“Oh! She's this hunter we met on a case a few months ago, really cool.”

“Yeah, you were a little preoccupied at the time,” Dean muttered. 

Cas made a face at him like if he was still an angel Dean would be getting pretty smited right now. 

“I, uh.....I don't have to go.” 

“What?”

“I mean. I could stick around if you guys want.”

Dean narrowed his eyes. “Why would you do that?”

Sam glanced between the two of them. “I just mean. What are you guys gonna do?”

“I assure you Sam, we are not going to wither and die without you here to entertain us,” Cas said.

“No! Of course not! I just meant...nevermind, it's nothing. I'm gonna go get ready.” Sam was such a pushover whenever Cas challenged anything he said. Dean really needed to figure out how Cas did that. 

Twenty minutes later the dishes were clean and Dean was flicking aimlessly through channels in the living room. Cas had disappeared as soon as he finished eating, like always. 

Sam came in, wearing his nice jeans, a simple black button-down and just a dash of cologne. This was so a date. “Damn, Sammy, knock 'em dead!” 

“Shut up. Listen, why don't you go somewhere with Cas tonight, you know, get out of the bunker?”

Dean scrunched his face up in confusion. “Why?”

“I just don't think it's a good idea for you two to be cooped up here all alone all night.” 

Dean just stared at him. 

“Dean, have you seriously not noticed the tension?”

Okay, no, he didn't want to talk about this. “Yeah, we're not talking about this.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Just go do something, get some fresh air, maybe talk to the guy.” 

“ _He_ doesn't want to talk to _me_ , Sam. I'm not gonna force him to hang out with me.” This conversation was making something deep down in Dean chest feel tight and heavy. He wished Sam would just leave already so he could go back to staring at the TV and acting like everything was fine. 

“Dean.” And there was the pity voice. 

“Oh my God, fine. We'll go out. Get out of here.”

“Promise.” 

“I promise, Sam, jesus.”

After a few more lingering soulful looks Sam finally left. Hopefully he'd get laid tonight, he clearly needed it. 

Dean sat on the couch for awhile, debating whether to actually invite Cas somewhere or just tell Sam later that he'd tried. Every interaction with Cas these days was stressful. He just seemed so angry, which made sense to Dean considering his circumstances. He was stuck as a human again, probably for good this time. Stuck with Dean. Anyone in their right mind would hate that. 

And now Dean was feeling sorry for himself, which was never a good start to an evening. He was tempted to open a bottle of whiskey and go barricade himself in his room, but if he was going to get drunk tonight, why the fuck not do it with company? 

He'd barely even come to this decision when he found himself knocking on the door to Cas's room. Cas had chosen it himself, almost as far from Dean's room as he could get. 

“What.” 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Can I come in?”

After a few seconds the door opened and Cas was glaring at him from the doorway. “What do you want.” 

“Come out to the bar with me.”

Cas blinked in surprise. “The bar?” 

“Yeah, it's not far, I'm gonna walk. Come with me. It'll be fun.”

“Fun.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Grab your fucking coat, Cas.”

Fifteen minutes and one small fight about whether Cas needed a warmer coat (“I don't need your “mother-henning” Dean,” complete with those fucking airquotes) later they stepped into what had become Dean's local bar. It smelled like stale beer and faint cigarette smoke, and Dean relaxed into himself as soon as he breathed it in. 

“Dean!” Donnie shouted as soon as he caught sight of him. “Good to see you again, buddy, it's been a awhile!”

“Yeah man, been a little busy lately, but I got a little bit of a break right now, so here I am.” He gave him his best charming smile and Donnie responded with a grin of his own. People could never resist Dean when he turned it on. “We'll just take two of whatever's on tap tonight, thanks.”

As Donnie moved to get their drinks, Dean noticed that Cas was looking at him with faint interest. “You two know each other?”

“Yeah, you know, I come here a lot when we have downtime, since it's so close to the bunker. Donnie bartends most nights, so we've chatted some.” He's also sucked Donnie's dick behind the building a few times, but no one needed to know that, least of all Cas. 

“Hmm,” was Cas's only reply. What the fuck did that mean? He had one eyebrow raised, like he thought he knew something Dean wasn't telling him, which, fuck him. 

Dean was about to open his mouth and probably start a fight when Donnie plunked their drinks down in front of him and he thought better of it. “Let's play some pool.”

Cas sighed. “Fine.” 

“I didn't fucking force you to come Cas, don't feel like you have to fucking humor me.”

Cas stared at him for a long while, something like the way he used to back in the old days. When he spoke, his voice was a little softer. “I'm sorry, Dean. Let's play pool.”

Dean ordered some shots because he could tell they were going to need them, and led the way over to the table. “You know the basic rules, right? You watched us play before.”

“Yes, Dean, I know how to play the game.”

Dean snickered. “It's not as easy as it looks, pal. And don't think I'm going to take it easy on you out of pity or whatever.”

“Of course not, Dean.”

Dean racked the balls up and handed Cas a cue. “You break, since you're the novice.”

Cas rolled his eyes and proceeded to take forever to line up his shot. 

“It's just the break Cas, jesus.”

Cas glared at him over the pool cue and took the shot. He got one solid in, the rest of the balls spreading all over the table. “So...I'm solid now, right? I have to shoot all the solid balls in?” 

Dean nodded exaggeratedly. “Yup.”

And then he watched as Cas proceeded to sink every fucking solid, slowly, shot by shot, before Dean ever even had a chance to play. After sinking the 8 ball he stood straight up and smiled smugly at Dean, and fuck if his pants did not feel a little tighter in that moment. 

“How the fuck did you do that?” Did his voice sound higher than normal?

“It's just geometry, Dean.” Such a condescending asshole. 

“You're just.....geometry.”

Cas just stared at him, brow furrowed. 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Whatever. I'm going to get us more drinks, and then you're going to teach me how to do that.”

The next several hours passed with Cas and Dean trying out different shots at the pool table and getting progressively worse as they got progressively more drunk. Somewhere along the way they'd started laughing, and Dean couldn't remember the last time he'd had this much fun, especially with Cas. Sam was a fucking _genius_. 

“Imma get us more drinks, be right back.” Dean sidled up to the bar. It was decently full tonight, but it never got crazy so there was never really a wait for drinks. “Hey, Donnie! Two more shots please!” 

Donnie smiled at him. “You seem like you're having a good time tonight.” 

“I am! I needed this. Haven't let loose in awhile.” 

Donnie looked him over and then leaned in a little closer. “I can go on break in about 10 minutes, if you wanna meet me out back?”

Shit. Dean couldn't think of a good reason to say no, but he knew immediately that he wanted to. Literally any other time he would have been all over this before Donnie could even get his pants all the way down, but this time....

His alcohol-addled brain wasn't helping him come up with anything. He gulped. “Um...”

Donnie glanced behind him and then leaned away from him, smile still pleasant. “Ah. I got it. No hard feelings, man.” He set two new shots in front of Dean and winked before he walked away. 

What.

He grabbed the shots and turned around, only to almost spill them all over himself when Cas was standing right behind him. At least he didn't yelp. 

“You don't have to babysit me, you can go with him if you want to.”

Cas heard that whole thing. That was great. Fantastic. Dean felt his face getting hot, and couldn't seem to remember words suddenly. “I don't. I'm not....”

Cas seemed to sag for a moment, and then his expression went hard again. “I'm going back to the bunker.” He grabbed his coat and stalked out the door before Dean could even process what was happening. 

It felt like he stood rooted to that spot forever, until finally he snapped out of his trance and hurried outside after him. “Cas!”

“Go back inside, Dean.”

“No, what the hell, man, what is your problem?” He caught up to him and spun him around by the shoulder. 

Cas looked for a second like he was going to start shouting, but then he sighed and his shoulders slumped. “Dean,” he said quietly, “this isn't working.”

There was something laughable about the beginning of a breakup speech coming out of Cas's mouth, only it wasn't funny and Dean was starting to feel like he might throw up. 

“What isn't working?”

“Me, staying at the bunker. I don't. I can pack my things tonight.” He was staring at the ground with that sad puppy face he had, but Dean couldn't process that over the the rage rushing through his system. 

“So you're leaving. Again.” 

“Dean. You would clearly be happier without me around.” He glanced back towards the bar. “I'm holding you back from your life, and I'm sorry.”

Dean started shaking his head as he took a step back. “Don't make fucking excuses. Like you ever needed an excuse before.”

Cas was looking at him like he was crazy. He felt a little crazy right now, and way too drunk to be having such a dangerous conversation. “Dean, what are you talking about?”

“All the other times you left! After Stull, in Purgatory, when you said yes to fucking Lucifer! God, you'd think I'd get it through my skull that you're never gonna stick around, but every time I hope. I hope it'll be different, that you'll care enough to stay. I'm such a fucking idiot.” He needed to shut up. Why did he drink so much tonight? Why was everything blurry, were there tears in his eyes? Fucking fantastic. He was pretty sure this was the most humiliating moment of his life. 

He wiped his face on his sleeve and chanced a glance up at Cas, who was staring at him in what had to be utter shock. 

“Dean....”

Dean sniffed, because yeah, he was fucking _crying_. “Forget it. Forget it. It doesn't matter.” He started stumbling away, towards where god only knew, but he felt Cas's hand on his arm anchoring him in place. 

“Dean.” He shook him until Dean was looking straight into his eyes. “I have never wanted to leave you. I'm sorry that I've made you feel that way. I've always just wanted to do what's best for you.”

“How was saying yes to Lucifer what's best for me?” Dean spat. 

Cas had the decency to wince, at least. “Dean. You were under Amara's spell. I didn't, I didn't know how to fix it. I had to save you, I had to try.” 

“And who cares if I had to watch the devil wear my best friend all over the world, right? Who cares if I lost you forever.”

Cas stared at him wordlessly for a few moments. “Dean...I'm sorry. I've never wanted to leave you, but so much of the time it seems as though you're better off without me. I...I put you in danger, and I complicate your life, and even now, I'm nothing but a burden to you.” He looked down at his now-human body in disdain. 

Dean broke out of Cas's grasp and shoved him hard enough to make him stumble back a few paces. Cas just looked at him, wide-eyed. 

“You are such a fucking idiot. You are not a burden to me, human or not. You're....I want you around, Cas, okay? I always want you around.”

Cas looked dazed and on the verge of tears himself, but he was nodding slowly. “Okay. If you want me to stay, I'll stay.” 

Dean stepped close to him again, enough that the steam from their breath was mixing together. Dean had completely forgotten that it was freezing out, but all he could see were Cas's eyes looking at him with what almost looked like reverence and nothing else on earth seemed to matter. Not the weather, not his pride. “Cas, all I have ever wanted was for you to stay with me.” 

He saw Cas swallow reflexively, and before he knew what was happening, their lips were pressed together. Nothing else existed in Dean's brain except the fact that Cas's lips were warm and dry and his five o'clock shadow was rough on Dean's skin. On instinct, Dean ran his tongue across the seam of Cas's lips and they parted, and then he was licking inside of Cas's mouth and Cas was fucking moaning and Dean's dick was getting hard, and his knees got so weak he would have fallen down were he not holding onto Cas. 

He broke the kiss, both of them gasping. Before he could chicken out, he grabbed Cas's hand. “Come here.” 

Cas followed him without a fight and Dean led them around the side of the building, out of sight of the parking lot, and shoved Cas against the wall, where he stood with his hands slightly raised like he wasn't sure what the fuck was going on. Dean's earlier panic was being replaced with a different kind of adrenaline, and he smiled lasciviously at Cas, whose eyes widened even more. This was going to be fun. 

He dropped to his knees without a word and starting unbuckling Cas's pants. 

“D-Dean?” Cas gasped.

“Hmm?”

“Wh- what...” he cut off with a shout when Dean ran his tongue up the length of Cas's already fully-hard erection.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked sweetly.

Cas froze for a moment, and then narrowed his eyes in annoyance. “Keep going,” he declared, and _jesus christ_ , Dean didn't know his voice could get more gravelly. 

Dean licked his palm, and if he thought Cas was an intense starer before, it was like he was trying for an Olympic gold in laser focus right now. It was really turning Dean on.

He grasped Cas's cock in his hand and slowly started pumping, circling his thumb around the head on the upstroke. Cas was breathing heavy already. Dean started palming himself through his pants with his free hand. 

“Dean,” Cas ground out. Dean's eyes shot up to lock with his. “Don't touch yourself.” Fuuuuuuck. Dean almost whimpered at the authority in his tone. He put his free hand on Cas's hip and leaned forward to swallow down as much of Cas's cock as he could. Cas gasped and ran his fingers through Dean's hair, settling his hand on Dean's head. Dean started bobbing his head slowly, and then with more vigor until Cas was gasping with every breath and his hand was tight in Dean's hair. Dean was coiled so tight he thought he might explode. 

“Dean, Dean, I..” Cas gasped out. He started tugging more insistently at Dean's hair, but Dean ignored him and started sucking harder, stroking the base of Cas's cock with his hand. “Ah, ah, _hnng_ ,” and then Cas was curling around Dean's head and coming down his throat. When he was done they stayed frozen like that for a few seconds, until Dean gently slid his mouth off Cas's dick and looked up at him. 

“That was....wow.” He sounded breathless, and Dean felt inexplicably proud of himself in that moment.

“Yeah,” he said with a grin. 

Cas seemed to gather his wits about him and looked at Dean with intent. “Stand up.”

Dean did as he was told, almost like he was in a trance. He felt like he was. None of this could be real. Cas started unbuckling his pants, keeping eye contact with Dean the whole time, which should have been weird but it was making Dean have these nice fluttering feelings in his stomach. Cas got Dean's cock out of his pants and held his palm up in front of Dean's face. Dean managed not to faint from arousal, and ran his tongue up Cas's palm. Cas started jacking him off the same way Dean had done to him, but he kept that fucking eye contact up the whole time. It was too much, too intimate, but Dean couldn't tear himself away. He came embarrassingly fast, and whimpered while he covered Cas's hand in come. He leaned on the wall behind Cas to catch his breath, and watched in amazement as Cas licked his come off his fingers, staring at Dean the whole time. Jesus Christ. This man was gonna kill him. 

After a few minutes had passed, the lust in the air began to dissipate and the reality of the situation started to seep back in. Dean broke eye contact and cleared his throat as he tucked himself back into his pants. Cas followed suit, eyeing him warily. 

“Um, listen-”

“Dean.” 

Dean looked up at the interruption. Cas was staring at him with the most tender expression on his face and Dean thought he might burst into tears again. It was embarrassing enough the first time, god. 

“Dean, I understand now. I'm not going to leave you. I want – I.” He looked down at the ground for a moment and then seemed to steel himself and looked back up with resolve. “I want to be with you.” 

“....Oh.”

“Oh?”

“Well...good.” Without his consent, his face broke into a huge grin. “Great, even.” 

Cas smiled back at him, his stupid gummy smile that Dean definitely didn't find adorable. “Great.” 

Dean nodded resolutely. “Let's go home?”

“Yes, Dean. Let's go home.”


End file.
